In anticipation of the release of the next Realmgard story, The Bandits of Goldharbour (ETA towards the end of August), here is a preview chapter, allowing you to get to know the pair of scoundrels known as the Bandits of Goldharbour.
© J.B. Norman. All rights reserved.
As the citizens of and visitors to Goldharbour go about their lives of luxuriant excess, the Bandits of Goldharbour are planning what they hope will be a very good day for them. When you’re a bandit, a “very good day” means “stole lots of loot.”
Unfortunately, those good days are becoming increasingly uncommon. The upside to that sad fact is that it’s because they’ve had so many good days already. There’s no loot left to steal because they’ve already stolen it.
Despite being the most-wanted criminals in all Goldharbour, and probably even all Realmgard, none of the many passers-by seem to notice their presence as they stand scheming on the street corner. Of course, they are the most-wanted criminals in Goldharbour, so they have to try to be inconspicuous until they’re ready to make their move. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a fake moustache and pair of glasses. Even though their faces are plastered all over the city, no one has recognised them underneath their ingenious disguises.
“Honey-bear, I’m bored!” Alison Steel declares to her beloved Dirk Broadsword. “I wanna rough somebody up! I wanna grab some loot!”
“I know, sugar-blossom,” Dirk assures his best girl. “But we didn’t become the world’s greatest bandits by being stupid about this. We need a plan for our next heist. We can’t just go around kicking down doors and knocking people over.”
“Well, we could,” Alison notes. “Actually, that sounds pretty fun. Let’s do that!” She grabs Dirk’s hand. “Come on, honey-bear! Let’s go! I’ll even let you pick which door we kick down!”
“What about here, sugar-blossom?” he asks his partner.
“It’s a café, honey-bear,” she notes sceptically, following his gaze.
“Yeah. A café filled with super-rich people,” he counters.
“Who robs a café?” she wonders.
“I don’t know,” he admits with a shrug. “But when you think about it, why wouldn’t you?”
“Because it’s a café, maybe?” she offers. “We’re not going to get rich stealing coffee.”
“Just hear me out, sugar-blossom,” he urges. “It’s like you said, no one robs cafés. That means they won’t be expecting it. It’s not like they’re going to have guards hanging around.”
“I guess,” she concedes.
He points across the street. “I mean, just look at this place, sugar-blossom. This is where all the big-wigs come for their coffee. That means the café is going to do all it can to impress all those big-wigs and their big, fat big-wig wallets. They’re probably eating solid gold breakfast off plates covered in jewels.”
“Yeah,” Alison says, grinning like a cat in a canary factory. She turns to Dirk. “So, do you want to kick down the door? Or shall I?”
“It’s all you, sugar-blossom,” Dirk answers.
“Oh, honey-bear, you know just what a girl likes to hear.”