RealmgART: The Turnip-Thing of Aquae Celeres

The Turnip-Thing of Aquae Celeres: 50% Turnip, 50% Thing, 100% guaranteed to ruin somebody’s day.

50% Turnip, 50% Thing, 100% guaranteed to ruin somebody’s day.

Shortly after the initial foundation of the Elven Empire, just when the good burghers of the countryside thought they finally could breathe a sigh of relief and settle into a peaceful life after many years of war, they were beset by a terrible monster: the Turnip-Thing of Aquae Celeres.

The (Turnip-)thing appeared without explanation or warning, and its origins remain a source of conjecture and debate even today. No such monster has ever been recorded in the annals of Realmgard before or since.

Contemporary accounts describe the beast running roughshod across the region around the otherwise insignificant town of Aquae Celeres and it is recorded as having devoured twenty-seven ducks, six goats, a cow, four unfortunate people, a mime performing at a child’s birthday party, the child’s birthday cake, and trampling no less than fourteen farmer’s fields.

Luckily, the people had an obvious saviour to turn to in their hour of need. Famously bearded Elven war hero Quintus Marcellinus Styracosaurus had retired to a turnip farm not far from Aquae Celeres.

Retired from active military service, but not from heroism.

Utilising his legendary heroic spirit, combined with his deep familiarity with the cunning and treacherous ways of turnips, Styracosaurus easily slew the Turnip-Thing and saved the good people of Aquae Celeres.

The vanquished Turnip-Thing was cooked into a delicious stew which fed the town for several months, and Styracosaurus’ great victory is still commemorated in the region of Aquae Celeres with the annual Styracosauralia festival.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s