Holiday Writing: Thanksgiving 2022

Celebrating the Harvest Festival with the Family Lyte and Co.

Once again, a happy Canadian Thanksgiving to one and all. A holiday, owed, of course to notable earlier colonial Canadian preacher Give-thanks-in all-circumstances-for-this-is-God’s-will-for-you-in-Christ-Jesus Chesterfield.

A 18th century engraving of a preacher. Actually a portrait of Praise-God Barebone.

By George Perfect Harding, etching, late 18th century.
via Wikimedia Commons. Public Domanin.

And, once again, that’s not true. I was mostly just curious how far I could take the “plausible-sounding, but subtly ridiculous fiction” before people starting going “Waaaaaait a minute, I don’t believe that’s true.”

For one thing, that’s actually a portrait of Praise-God Barebone.

Of course, Canadian Thanksgiving is a real holiday, so here’s a little scene about the Realmgard equivalent.

Well, Kat decides, this is clearly the liveliest Harvest Festival party she’s ever been a part of. Most years, what she’s thankful for is having a whole day to herself lying on her beloved plaid couch.

Alas, this year, it was not to be.

As far as she can tell, pretty much everyone even remotely related or connected to the members of the Lyte Brigade has been invited to the Lyte family’s Harvest Festival meeting.

The six members of the Lyte Brigade are here, each of them invited some combination of at least several family members, friends, or hangers-on. The entire extended Darkstone clan is here: Kat, Dunstana, their parents, Annie, Uncle Jonas, and Aunt Peri. Scarlet is a cousin of the Lytes, so she’s here with her mother. Amara brought along her brother and father, along with their maid Isla, and even Amara’s uncle visiting from Goldharbour. Even Kokoro, Tsuru, and Tsubame have been invited to the meal.

They must not have the Harvest Festival in Yamatai, because Kokoro and the twins are staring in amazement at the illustration of a turkey that Pela’s father Gunther is showing them.

Elsewhere in the dining room, Tancred’s parents are chatting with Amara’s father, probably about some kind of rich people thing. Scarlet and her mother are catching up with Nolan and Matilda’s mother, the two sisters laughing together. Dunstana is dangling happily from Falcata’s muscular arms, the Amazon effortless lifting her. Everyone seems to be hitting it off pretty well. Mostly, though, Kat just misses her plaid couch. For a holiday, she’s spent far too much of the day vertical.

Kat feels a tug on the hem of her shirt. She turns around and looks down to see the youngest Lyte sibling and Annie standing before her.

“Hi. It’s me, Sally,” the girl tells her. She holds her bunny doll up to Kat.

“And you remember Count Bunnyescu, right?”

“Yeah. I remember,” Kat answers. “Happy Harvest Festival.”

Sally stares gravely up at her. “Ahem.”

“And Happy Harvest Festival, Count Bunnyescu.”

“Will you sit with us, Kat?” Annie asks.

“Yeah. Sure,” Kat says.

And instantly regrets it. The Kids’ Table, such as it is, is far too small for her. While Sally, Annie, Dunstana, Tsuru, Tsubamne, and Pela fit comfortably at the table engineered specifically for the young and the short, Kat and Falcata are big people stuck living in a world of short people.

The Amazon gives Kat a sympathetic look from across the table.

“Happy Harvest Festival,” she says.

“Is it?” Kat asks, shifting uncomfortable on her chair.

“Well,” Falcata offers. “I am thankful for good company, at least.”

Pela reaches over to give Falcata and consoling pat on the shoulder. She then runs around the table to do the same to Kat before settling back into her chair.

“I’m thankful I actually fit somewhere,” the Half-Goblin exclaims. “Oh, uh, no offence,” she mutters, glancing over at Kat and Falcata. “Please don’t take this from me,” she mutters.

“I can’t wait to have turkey!” Sally exclaims.

“Turkey’s right there,” Kat says, pointing across the table to Dunstana.


And, of course, since it is a holiday:

Thank you, The Simpsons.

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