“Pirates of the Piratesburg” is not, in fact a reference to the Pittsburgh Pirates. In addition to meaning “city or town” in general, “burg” also specifically means a fortified settlement or castle — cf. the Anglo-Saxon burh, fortified settlements constructed by Alfred the Great to create a defensive network against the Vikings.
Basically, mission accomplished, by the way.
So, “Piratesburg” basically means something like “Fort Pirate”. And, if anything, it’s a reference to the Jomsvikings and the Jomsborg.
While utilising every ounce of her stealth and cleverness to sneakily sneak through the halls of the Piratesburg, the most imposing and famous of all the pirate bases in Realmgard, Dunstana promptly finds herself caught.
“Uh,” she says bashfully. “Hi.”
“Do you have any idea what the Pirates of the Piratesburg do to nosy interlopes we catch sneaking around our fort?” the pirate asks Dunstana, catching her by the collar of her coat.
“No,” she answers innocently. “What?”
“I don’t know,” the pirate declares. “That’s why I asked you.”
“Well, you could just let me go,” Dunstana offers.
“I don’t think that’s how this works,” the pirate mutters. “I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to toss you into the snake pit, or something.”
“Question,” Dunstana says, sticking her hand into the air. “Why do you guys even have a snake pit? Was it here when you guys moved in and you just kept it? Or, like, did you really dig a hole and fill it with snakes just so you’d have somewhere to toss the people you caught sneaking around your base?”
“Well, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous,” the pirate notes.
“Pfft,” Dunstana scoffs. “You’re the one with the snake pit. You don’t really have a lot of room to criticise.”
“And there aren’t even any poisonous snakes in this part of Realmgard,” Dunstana continues. “So did you guys really go to all the trouble of finding enough poisonous snakes from other parts of Realmgard to fill an entire pit?”
“Look,” the pirate says indignantly. “I’m not the one who built the snake pit, or the one in charge of the snake pit. I just throw people into it.”
“Okay, well, better go quick, then. Kat’s not gonna be happy about the fact that you’re trying to snake pit me,” Dunstana notes. “And, man, you do not want to be the one Kat’s not happy at. One time, she threw a coffee pot, right at a dude’s head.”
Right on cue, Kat leaps out from around the corner.
“Brain Chop!” she cries, bringing her hand crashing down on top of the pirate’s head.
“Down I go,” the pirate groans, crumpling senselessly to the ground.
“See?” Dunstana tells the pirate’s prone form. “You should have just listened to me, and we could have just avoided all this Brain Choppery.”
“Wow,” Kat says, examining her hand. “That really does work. I need to thank Niamh for teaching me how to do that.”
“So, hey, Kat,” Dunstana says. “He was gonna snake pit me. And thanks for the help, and all, but I’m pretty sure I could have just kicked him.”
“Why do they even a snake pit?” Kat asks. “Was it here when they moved in and they just kept it.”
“I know,” Dunstana agrees.
“And there aren’t even any poisonous snakes in this part of Realmgard,” Kat continues. “Did they really go to all the trouble of finding enough poisonous snakes from other parts of Realmgard to fill an entire pit?”
“I know!” Dunstana exclaims.
Once again, Niamh is pronounced “Neev.” She’s basically Goblin Robin Hood.
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