August 2023: Daily Writing Day 4

Never call a woman from Carog Middelmerish. Never call Kat Darkstone a guy…

Carog is Ireland. Middelmere is England. For various historical reasons, the Irish don’t really like being referred to as English or British and this is basically the central theme of today’s scene.

Though, Middelmere is specifically Anglo-Saxon England that has retained a distinct culture and polity, rather than being conquered by the Normans and expanding into Great Britain and the British Empire, so the exact historical tensions between Carog and Middlemere probably isn’t quite the same.

Still, being mistaken for a different ethnicity — even when they don’t have any particular negative history — is exasperating, cf. Slovenia/Slovakia.

The lede of the Wikipedia article about Slovenia. With "Not to be confused with Slovakia." highlighted.
A screenshot of the Wikipedia article, with the pertinent information highlighted.

Also, quick reminder that it’s pronounced like “Neev” and she’s basically Robin Hood…


“Pirates,” Kat groans. “I hate pirates!”

Somewhere on the other side of Porthaven, Dunstana is suddenly offended and doesn’t know why…

But, really, for Kat a fight with pirates just really means it’s a day that ends in Y.

For her part, Niamh has no strong negative feelings towards pirates in general. She’s mostly just concerned with fighting off the guys who are trying to beat up her and her friend. Of course, as far as Niamh is concerned, they deserve it.

They stole the Countess-Dowager Dirigible’s favourite parrot, so it falls to Niamh and Kat to steal it back. She’s just like Morgan Cowl, after all.

“Brain Chop!” Niamh cries.

The knife-edge of her green hand comes crashing down on the pirate’s skull, dropping him to the floor. Niamh cautiously glances around, before snatching the pirate’s wallet from the his belt and stuffing it into her pocket.

She prides herself on only ever stealing back things that have been stolen in the first place, but she’s sure that the pirate didn’t earn any of the money in that wallet above board, so this clearly still counts as stealing back.

“Oh no!” one of the other pirates cries. “That Middelmerish Goblin just killed Moose!”

Niamh freezes in mixed bemusement and indignation. Calling somebody from Carog Middelmerish is just about the worst thing you could say.

“And now she’s plundering his corpse!”

“One,” Niamh calls, rounding towards the pirates. “He’s not dead. And two: I’m. from. Carog!

She glances around the pirates’ lair. She’s Brain Chopped most of the pirates in her immediate vicinity to submission — and helped herself to a few of the fattest wallets.

Kat is on the far side, keeping the pirates at bay with a steady cascade of arrows, but looks like she could use some help.

Niamh steps over the most recently Brain Chopped bandit and makes a dash towards Kat.

“Quick!” tone of the he pirate cries, pointing at Niamh. “Don’t let her regroup with that tall guy! They’re planning some sort of cunning Middelmerish stratagem!”

Guy?” Kat repeats.

“Split up!” the pirate says in a sudden flash of inspiration. “He can’t shoot all of us! We’ll flank him!”

“Are you blind, or just stupid?” Kat cries, doing her utmost to, in fact, shoot them all. “I get that you all spend a lot of time stuck on your boat, but has it been so long that you can’t tell what a girl looks like?”

She looses another arrow.

“And flanking doesn’t work when you tell them you’re going to flank them!”

Sure enough, one of the pirates attempts to circle around her and leaps, hoping to catch her by surprise.

All he catches his her fist to his face.

Kat doesn’t even have to turn to deliver a stinging face-punch to the pirate.

The one talktative pirate gasps in horror.

“They’re using some kind of Middelmerish mind magic to read our thoughts!”

Under the cover of a hail of arrows from Kat, Niamh charges in the direction of the pirates.

“I’m. from. Carog!


Niamh be like:

Kermit The Frog Break GIF by Muppet Wiki - Find & Share on GIPHY
Hey! She’s even green, too!
The Muppets: Disney and The Muppets Studio. Image via giphy.

Whereas, Kat be like:

Batman (1989): Warner Bros. Image via giphy.

This week’s chapter is here:

A quick heads-up that I’m going away to cottage for a week as of tomorrow, so my posting schedule might get a little borked between now and the 12th.

Stay tuned:


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