So, way back in August 2022, I had a couple scenes that at least mentioned in passing Kat working as Baron Westfordnorthwestshire’s Trouble Consultant — itself a reference to the anime (technically, light novel series) Dirty Pair, and again, that’s Dirty Harry “dirty”, not Dirty Dancing “dirty”…
Also, she’s doing that thing where you make it look like your thumb comes off.
Copyright
J.B. Norman
“Look at her!” the guard exclaims. “She’s taking her thumb off!”
“And she’s putting it back on! I’ve never seen magic like this!”
Kat stifles an inward groan at the two guards’ incredulity. She cannot believe this is working.
Working as Baron Westfordnorthwestshire’s Trouble Consultant has taken Kat’s life in some weird directions. The Baron’s men have been teaching Dunstana to gamble, people keep thinking that the Baron’s friend Dude Manguy is somebody in a disguise — or two kids in a trenchcoat.
And now, the Baron’s got her sneaking into another Baron’s manor to steal back a collection of antique faience chickens that that Baron stole from her Baron. Naturally, Dunstana insisting on helping, or at least “helping”, volunteering to be the one doing the sneaking.
So, here she is, distracting the other Baron’s guards by doing that thing where you make it look like your thumb comes off and back on.
Kat isn’t sure how much longer she can keep this off. Even babies eventually get tired of the thumb coming off thing…
“Hurry up, Dunstana,” she mutters to herself.
“Clearly, she is a witch,” the first guard notes.
“I disagree,” the second guard says. “She’s clearly a sorceress.”
Kat stifles an inward groan at the two guards’ incredulity.
She begins to contemplate grabbing something big and heavy to jus bonk the guards with and go in after Dunstana herself
“Oh, hey, Kat,” Dunstana coming out of the front door with a big burlap sack over her shoulder. “I stole those chickens that Baron This Guy stole from Baron Your-Guy.”
“Did that small child just say that she stole the Baron’s chickens?” the first guard asks the other.
“She did!” the other guard gasps.
“That means we have to get her, doesn’t it?”
“It does!”
“Uh oh,” Dunstana mutters.
Faced with such a looming threat, Dunstana resorts to her most cunning stratagem.
“Kat did it!” she declares.
“Oh, did she?” the first guard says. “She must have used her witchcraft, then.”
“Well, we’d better do something about I,” the second guard asks. “I—”
He reaches for his sword, but his hand clutches only empty air.
“Wait. Didn’t we used to have swords?” he asks his partner.
“Pfft,” the first guard scoffs. “I’m telling the Baron you lost your — Oh…”
He also finds his sword missing.
“Looking for these?” Kat asks, wielding one stolen sword in each hand.
She smirks at the two guards.
She saw her chance when the two guards were distracted by Dunstana and went for it, snatching their swords right out of their scabbards.
“Oh, man!” Dunstana says. “This is going to be awesome! Kat’s gonna beat you up with your own swords. Well, awesome for me…”
“Wait?” the second guard asks. “How did you do that? How did we not notice? We were right here the whole time!”
“I knew she’s really a witch!” the first guard exclaims.
“Oh, yeah,” the second guard muses. “I suppose she must be.”
Kat stifles an inward groan at the two guards’ incredulity.
I guess Dunstana was wearing her sneakers today…
Also, I couldn’t find a got photo of somebody doing the “thumb came off” thing, but, luckily, thanks to modern editing techniques, you were probably none the wiser that my header image is an edited image…
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