“Statues that come to life” is a fairly common Fantasy-genre plot beat or boss fight premise. In fact, I’ve already done at least one story about the very premise — though the angle I was going for with that one was “ancient traps that somehow still work.” I think my primary inspiration here was the couple of Conan stories that involve statues, or at least statue-adjacent, enemies coming to life.
Copyright
J.B. Norman
“The, uh, the statue’s coming to life,” Pela notes, clutching the large red gem.
“Yeah,” Nolan says with a heavy sigh.
The Lyte Brigade had been hired by the city of Porthaven’s pre-eminent gemologist to collect the magical gem believed to still be clutched by the statue in the recently-rediscovered Realmgardic period city of Tirisi.
Collectively, the members of the Lyte Brigade have read enough adventure stories to know where this was going.
Now, the great stone statue’s great stone fingers are beginning to twitch and the statue’s great stone brain seems to be realising that the gem is no longer resting in those on those great stone fingers.
Pela glances around, then slowly, surreptitiously stows the gem in one of the inner pockets of her jacket.
The statue begins to rise from its throne.
“Drat,” Tancred says.
“You owe me five marks,” Matilda says.
“I thought we were due,” Tancred mutters.
Despite the looming danger, Matilda is unable to bite back a laugh.
“Ha!”
“Thank you, Miss Matilda,” Tancred says.
“Settle your side bets later,” Amara urges. “We need to do something about that!”
The statue stands over the six members of the Lyte Brigade, then reaches for the axe lying at the foot of its throne.
“Why does a statue even need an axe?” Matilda cries.
The statue strides forward, seeming to focus on Pela. The ruined chamber echoes and shakes with each thunderous football as it stalks towards her.
“Oh, come one! How does he know I have it?” Pela cries.
The statue towers over Pela. It raises its axe. And—
Its left leg crumbles under its bulk. The swing of its axe sends it off balance. The statue totters for a moment, then lurches forward and falls headlong the ground.
The Lyte Brigade scatters to avoid being caught in the statue’s fall.
With a sound like an avalanche and a cascade of masonry, the statue comes tumbling down as its one remain leg proves unable to support itself. The statue faceplants on the floor of the ruined chamber, leaving behind a pile of rubble and a cloud of dust.
After the dust clears, the Lyte Brigade regroups and surveys the shattered remains of the great statue.
“Hey! We won!” Pela says.
“Oh, thank the Powers,” Nolan says.
“Did that really happen?” Matilda asks.
“Yes, Miss Matilda, I do believe it did indeed happen,” Tancred replies.
“Statue came to life,” Matilda continues. “You still owe me five marks.”
“But—” Tancred begins.
“The bet was that the statue would come to life, and it did,” Matilda insists. “Anything else that comes after doesn’t matter.”
“But—”
“It came to life, Tancred.”
Tancred sighs.
“Fine,” he says, reaching for his wallet.
“I cannot help but feel a little disappointed,” Falcata admits.
The others stare at her, their jaws dropping to the floor.
“You wanted to fight the giant statue with the giant axe?” Matilda cries.
Falcata nods.
“Yes. It would have been a worthy battle,” Falcata says.
“If the University asks,” Nolan offers, “it was like that when we got here.”
So, basically, you expected a long, drawn-out fight scene.
But, instead, the statue fell over.
Man, I really am the Rian Johnson of subverting expectations…
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