In case you’ve forgotten, Amara became Queen of the Cave Goblins back towards the start of my 30 exercise. This premise is something that I can to flesh out into a full story and maybe even set up the fact that Amara has a bunch of minions as an ongoing plot device.
Copyright
J.B. Norman
“Mom,” Kat calls from her beloved plaid couch. “Door!”
Nobody inside Darkstone Manor moves to answer the door.
The knocking on the door doesn’t stop.
“Mom!”
Still nothing.
“Dad? Dunstana?”
Kat frowns, a desperate dread creeping through her.
“Anybody?”
Still nothing.
Kat groans and forces herself to rise from the couch to answer the door.
“This had better be —” she begins as she throws the door open.
There’s nobody there.
“Typical,” she groans.
“Down here,” a voice says.
Kat gazes downwards, to see three Goblins standing on the front step.
“Yes?” she answers cautiously with a curiously cocked eyebrow.
The three Goblins produce little trumpets and play a fanfare, though it’s quite apparent that their harmony needs work.
The leader of the three Goblins unfurls a parchment, takes out a pair of reading glasses, and clears his throat.
“Presenting,” he intones, “Her Majesty, the Sovereign, Serene, and Independent Queen of the Cave Goblin State of the Caves of the Mountains of Eastwood, Her Majesty —”
“You already said that,” Kat mutters.
“—Queen of the Caves, Lady of the Crags, Mistress of the Caverns, Monarch Under Mountain, Dux Bellorum of the Armies of Cave Goblindom, et cetera, et cetera, and all around swell and lovely young lady,” the Goblin continues, “Amara the First Gemina Valda.”
“Wait,” Kat exclaims. “What?”
“Yes. Thank you, Balthazar,” a familiar voice says.
The three Goblins step aside as Amara comes hobbling up the steps, leaning heavily on the crutch she’s had to use since breaking her leg.
“We’re still hashing out the details, Katherine,” Amara explains. “This whole Queen business was all rather sudden.”
“You fell down a cave, broke your leg, and somehow you ended up Queen of the Cave Goblins!” Kat exclaims. “Sudden doesn’t begin to cover it!”
“Yes, well,” Amara concedes, a blush creeping into her cheeks, “one near does quite know what one will encounter after tumbling to the bottom of a subterranean cavern.”
Kat stares blankly at her friend.
“So,” she says sceptically, “you’re the Queen of the Cave Goblins.”
She points to the three Goblins.
“So, what do they do?”
“We’re the Diplomatic Corps,” Balthazar explains. “I am Her Majesty’s seneschal and chief ambassador to Porthaven.”
“My name is Alphonsus,” the second Goblin says. “I’m the Army. And when I’m on a boat, I’m also the Navy.”
“And I’m Kevin!” the third Goblin says happily.
“And what’s your job?” Kat asks.
“Uh…” the Goblin stammers. “Being Kevin?”
“We’ll think up a position for you in Her Majesty’s court,” Balthazar assures his companion.
“Can I have a cool hat?” Kevin asks hopefully.
“Yes, you can have a cool hat.”
“Now, Katherine,” Amara says, “I know this is all rather bewildering, but Queen of the Cave Goblins or not, isn’t rather unseemly to leave a woman with one good leg just standing on your front step? And, honestly, those steps…”
“We are all hoping to avoid a diplomatic incident,” Balthazar notes.
Kat doesn’t know how diplomacy works, but she’s pretty sure that’s not how it does…
Incidentally, “Kevin” is also the name the Godzilla fanbase has bestowed on the stupid Ghidorah head from the Monsterverse…
And “dux bellorum” is how the early sources describe King Arthur. It literally means “leader of wars” and is technically a gender-neutral title, due to a distinct feminine form never developing, due to basically always referring to a man…
Feminine forms of Latin words like dux or princeps generally have the conotation of “wife of a man in a position of power” rather than “woman in a position of power” — cf. Jadwiga being King of Poland.
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