Copyright
J.B. Norman
Depending on who you ask, the Hammered Nail either one of the most famous or infamous public houses in the Dock District of Porthaven.
Despite its battered exterior and grimy interior, the Nail does not attract an entirely dishonest clientele. A fair few of its patrons are, honest well-meaning sailors and longshoreman or aspiring adventurers looking to make connections with other adventurers.
However, it is a well-known fact in Porthaven that the Nail attracts the rough, disreputable, downright criminal element of Porthaven’s society in the way a bucket of fish heads dumped overboard attracts sharks.
Which, in turn, means that these criminals attract the sort of people who make it their purpose in life to bring those criminals to justice.
The two cloaked figures step into the Nail and survey their surroundings.
“Which one of you is Axe the Blade?” the cloaked figure on the left asks.
“Who wants to know?” a large, grizzled man asks from behind a bushy, grey-streaked beard.
The two cloaked figures exchange a glance from beneath their hoods.
“That’s him,” the one on the left asks.
“That’s him,” the one on the right agrees.
“How could you possibly know that?” the large man asks.
“Because if you weren’t, you would have just said something like I’m not Axe the Blade, not Who wants to know?,” the cloaked figure on the left notes.
“Alright, fine,” the large man says, pushing away from his table and rising to his feet. “You’ve found me. I’m Axe the Blade. Now, the question is, who are you two idiots?”
The two hooded figures exchange a nod before turning back to their target and throwing off their cloaks, revealing themselves to be a pair of female warriors.
“From the distant lands of Yamatai, I have come to pursue evil wherever it may be found,” the woman on the left declares. “It is I, the Mistress of the Way of the Sword — Akari!”
“And me, hailing from the shores of Pelayo,” the woman on the right boasts, “the Lady of Explosion Magic, ready to rain down ruin on wrongdoers — Alma!”
“And we,” they declare as one, “are here to bring you in.”
Akari draws her sword and Alma’s hands begin to shine and shimmer with magical currents.
Seeing this, Axe the Blade reaches for his own sword. “I ain’t afraid of two little girls,” he says.
Alma scoffs. “You should be. Bad guys who aren’t tended to get, well, exploded.”
“So we’ll give you a chance to surrender,” Akari tells him. “There’s no reason this needs to get ugly.”
Sitting at the bar watching this unfold, Kat Darkstone heaves a heavy sigh.
“Not again,” she mutters.
Just once, she’d like to be able to finish a meal in peace — without threat of becoming collateral damage in a brawl. Or a sword fight. Or a wizards’ duel. Or a certain maniac little pirate’s latest adventure. In hindsight, though she’s probably picked the wrong favourite pub for that to be attainable.
With a groan, Kat pushes the bits of building that fell on her. She claws her way free from the rubble and pushes herself to her knees. She brushes herself off and coughs up dust.
“Ugh,” she moans.
She used to finding herself suddenly thrust into danger without having time for her brain to make sense of what’s happening before it’s done happening, but even Dunstana has never exploded anything.
The two female warriors — Kat realises she can’t remember their names; her head hurts too, and she wonders if that’s a bad sign — kicked down the door and picked a fight with a particularly scary-looking criminal.
Fight is the wrong word, though. The one from Yamatai swung her sword a few times. And then the Pelayan one cast an Explosion spell. And…
…Kat doesn’t remember much after that. Bright loud. Loud noise. Being sent flying. And…
Waking up under a pile of rubble. So, really, just another Wednesday for her. With maybe a few extra steps.
Kat looks around, surveying her smouldering surroundings. The Nail is no longer merely Hammered. It’s been blown to bits, had those bits blown to other, smaller bits, then had those scattered to the four winds.
There’s a gaping hole where the roof used to be and a great, black cloud of smoke rising to the sky through that empty space. Most of the floor is now a smouldering crater. The tables, stools, and the bar itself have been reduced to splinters by the force of the magical explosion.
The Nail is no stranger to becoming collateral damage, but she’s never seen it this bad before.
Amazingly, none of the patrons seem to be hurt beyond a few scrapes and bruises. Except for the two female warriors’ intended target, Axe the Blade. Dazed and groaning, the huge, burly bandit is being dragged off by the two warriors.
She’s going to get them for this. Nobody — not even the Mistress of the Way of the Sword and the Lady of Explosion Magic — can just saunter into town and blow up Katherine Hortensia Darkstone’s favourite pub.
Kat unsteadily rising to her feet and limps after them.
“Hey! Get back here!” she calls after the two female warriors. “I’m talking to you! Hey!”
The two warriors exchange a glance before turning to face Kat, dropping the dazed form of Axe the Blade to the ground.
“Ow,” he groans feebly.
“You blew up the Nail,” Kat tells them. “You owe me!”
“Yeah,” the Pelayan one says. “We get that a lot.”
“File your claim with the Porthaven Bureau of Civic Works,” the one from Yamatai adds. “They’ll add you to the list.”
“There’s a list?” Kat exclaims.
“What are we up to now? Something like five hundred outstanding claims for compensation?”
“We’d rather not talk about it.”
“Well,” the Pelayan warrior says. “So long. We’ll get to you when we get to you.”
The two female warriors turn away from Kat and continue dragging away their quarry.
“Come back!” Kat calls after them. “I’m not done yelling at you!”
So basically, the Hammered Nail is the Misty’s Bike of Realmgard…
The rest of my writing exercises are here. This scene is from February 2022.
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