Yesterday’s piece is here.
Copyright J.B. Norman
Squeezing through the crowd packing the tram car, Kathryn, Dunstella, and Amarantha stumble to freedom.
Dunstella gulps down a deep breath and Amarantha indignantly straightens out her clothes.
“And people willingly travel like this?” she scoffs. “How horrifyingly plebeian!”
“Not everyone can afford to be carried around on a litter by four servants, your majesty,” Kathryn notes.
“Firstly,” Amaranth says, wheeling towards Kathryn. “Your Majesty is the title of the Patriarchs of the First House of Vallda. As a member of the Ducal Third House, I’m to be addressed as Your Grace.
“I’ll be sure to write that down somewhere,” Kathryn mutters.
“And secondly,” the Alvaraean princess continues, “a traditional Alvaraean litter is carried by two servants.”
“I’ll be sure to write that down somewhere,” Kathryn mutters.
“I’m hungry,” Dunstella interjects.
“Later,” Kathryn replies.
“No, I’m hungry now,” Dunstella notes.
“Okay,” Kathryn continues over her sister’s objection. She keys in a command to her wrist communicator and the screen projects a schematic of the cooling coil they’ve come to the Ring to find. “We’re looking for this, a Frigidus Technologies LMV-57 cooling coil. We’ll cover more ground if we split up.”
She frowns as she considers her words.
“Actually, just stay with me.”
She notices her sister is no longer there.
“Where’s Dunstella?” Kathryn asks, her heart sinking.
“Oh, hey,” Dunstella says, returning from one of the foods stalls with a big, greasy bucket and taking a bite of fried… something.
“Don’t do that!” Kathryn cries. “Every time you go off by herself, somebody starts shooting at us!”
Dunstella shrugs. “Not my fault the galaxy is full of jerks who can’t handle getting kicked in the shins,” she offers, taking another bite of… something.
“And what is that?”
“I told you I was hungry, but you were all We need to find a Fridge Technological Coil, so Dunstella well just have to starve, I guess.”
“I did not say that!”
“I read between the lines, so I decided to go get some food.” She gestures to the bucket. “They call it fried chicken. I’m not sure what a chicken is. I wonder how many legs and eyes it has and what it sprays its enemies with — acid, I hope. But it’s so greasy. It’s awesome!”
Kathryn shakes her head in bemusement.
“Whatever,” she mutters. “Just tell me the next time you’re going to wander off like that.”
“Oh,” Dunstella says eagerly, her gaze falling on a frozen yogurt stall. “Frogurt. I’m gonna wander off like that again.”
Kathryn shakes her head again and turns to Amarantha.
“New plan, keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn’t kick anybody, and I’ll find the cooling coil.”
“Will do, Captain,” Amarantha says.
“And buy yourself a frogurt, if you want,” Kathryn mutters.
She gives Dunstella and Amarantha a final glance and walks into the closest scrap-monger’s story.
“Right,” Kathryn says, leaning over the counter and keying up the schematic again.
“I need a Frigidus Technologies LMV-57 cooling coil. Can you help me out?”
The amphibious scrap-monger tugs on the barbels on his chin with a tentacled hand.
“I’d have to check the back but I think I have a few kicking around somewhere.”
“That is the best news I’ve had all—”
She interrupted by her sister’s voice resounding through the row of shops.
“Kathryn! Help! We’re being kidnapped!”
Now, for some reason, people seem to think that the short form for “Frozen Yogurt” is “froyo.” That is incorrect. The correct answer, as established since 1992, is “Frogurt.”
The Frogurt, incidentally, is also cursed…
Not knowing what a chicken is was already a joke in the very first Space Realmgard scene, but the joke is worth revisiting and this implementation feels a bit more natural.
FYI, read Dunstella’s “We’re being kidnapped” in exactly the same tone as Anya in Episode 12 of Spy x Family
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