Yesterday’s piece is here.
Copyright J.B. Norman
“Welcome to Ledu Control’s Automated Docking Assignment System,” the automated voice coming through the Dolphin’s comms. “For service in Penguinian, Quack-quack-hronk. For service in Galactic Standard, Press 2.”
“Penguinian?” Amarantha murmurs in surprise.
“You have selected Penguinian,” the automated system answers.
“No I didn’t!” Kathryn cries.
“Please, Hronk-quack-hronk,” the automated system announces.
Kathryn glowers at Amarantha through narrow eyes.
“Hronk?” the Penguinian controller on the line asks.
Kathryn clears her throat and leans into the comm. To Amarantha’s amazement — and no small amount of mingled bemusement and enjoyment — she and the controller begin quacking back and forth.
“Well,” Kathryn says, turning back to face Amarantha after a final hronk to the controller. “We’ve got our birth.”
“Why, Captain. I had no idea you spoke fluent, um, Penguin,” Amarantha says.
Kathryn shrugs. “Yeah. It was an elective in school. I also weave a mean basket.”
As Kathryn guides the Dolphin to its berth, the frozen expanse of the Ice Moon of Ledu sprawls beneath the ship as the Moon’s parent planet dominates the sky.
“I’m thinking you’ll want to suit up,” Kathryn says, surveying the planetscape through the viewport. “I have a feeling that the technical term for today’s weather is really franging cold.”
Dunstella gasps.
“The next time we call Mom, I’m telling her you were swearing!”
“Wembley,” Kathryn tells the robot as she gets bundle up in her cold-weather gear, make sure to keep the heat on.”
“Of course, Captain. I shall endeavour to maintain the ship’s climate control within your preferred parameters. And periodically administer that lilac smell you like.”
Kathryn tugs her scarf up over her face, helpfully concealing the sheepish blush creeping across her face.
Kathryn, Amarantha, and Dunstella make their way down the Dolphin’s ramp, they are met by Ledu’s dockmaster, an imperious Penguinian a monocle over one eye looking at them from beneath an impressive set of eyebrows… or feathers… or something.
“Renk?” the Peguinian dockmaster asks.
The dockmaster’s robotic assistant looks from the Penguinian to Kathryn.
“Dockmaster Chrysolophus inquires as to the purpose of your visit.”
“Business,” Kathryn answers. “We’re delivering a cooling coil to the, uh…” She glances down at the read-out on her wrist communicator. “…Hotel Bezlotek.”
“Honk,” the dockmaster, well, honks.
“Dockmaster Chrysolophus welcomes you to Ledu,” the robot continues. “And urges you to avail yourselves of the many fantastic local businesses and our moon’s stunning natural beauty.”
“Now, let us hurry to deliver this cooling coil to the hotel,” Amarantha urges. “The sooner we finish the delivery, the sooner we can head to the Crystal Labyrinth.”
Kathryn groans and shoves her hands into her armpits. She’s so cold that the very last thing in the galaxy she wants to do right now is go to a giant ice maze…
“And then can we get ice cream?” Dunstella asks excitedly.
“I-Ice cream?” Kathryn exclaims, gaping down at her sister. “Why do you think we should ice cream on a place called the Ice Moon of Ledu?”
“Well, one: it’s delicious,” Dunstella says. “And two: it’s like how you eat hot food when it’s hot to cool down. So, obviously, you eat cold food when it’s cold to heat up, right? Duh — it’s not brain science or rocket surgery!”
On the one hand: Penguin, Ice Moon, logical connection for the moon’s inhabitants to be big penguins. On the other hand, I was mostly inspired by the fact that I’ve been re-watching Spy x Family, which prominently features Anya’s Penguin Doll.
It’s hard to think up ways to write out different penguin-noises in words, and the fact that Kathryn speaks fluent Penguin is ultimately inspired by a scene from The Simpsons.
FYI, “Imperious Penguinian” is kinda-sorta an Emperor Penguin reference, but I mostly just wanted a Penguin with a monocle — basically picture him as Anya’s doll, but alive and with eyebrows (which is actually Macaroni Penguins…) and a monocle.
If you’ve enjoyed my content, please consider supporting me through Ko-fi or Patreon, or through Paypal by scanning the QR code below:
Follow Realmgard and other publications of Emona Literary Services™ below:
Subscribe to the Emona Literary Services™ Substack newsletter here.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
The author prohibits the use of content published on this website for the purposes of training Artificial Intelligence technologies, including but not limited to Large Language Models, without express written permission.
All stories published on this website are works of fiction. Characters are products of the author’s imagination and do not represent any individual, living or dead.
The realmgard.com Privacy Policy can be viewed here.
Realmgard is published by Emona Literary ServicesTM
