Copyright J.B. Norman
“Status report, Operative Slyce,” Lieutenant Crem says.
“Well,” Slyce stammers, fearing the Lieutenant’s swift and terrible vengeance once he lets it slip that he’s lost track of his quarry. “They g-got on the tram and I got on the tram. And followed them here and —”
He glances over his shoulder, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with the Lieutenant…
…and he promptly catches sight of the dark-haired starship captain, the red-haired kid, and the Alvaraean princess paying the ticket-bot at the entrance to the Crystal Labyrinth.
“There they go, Leff-tenant,” he says pointing eagerly and going out of his way to pronounce it correctly.
Lieutenant Crem nods in approval. “Good work, Slyce. I knew we could count on you.”
“Yeah,” Slyce murmurs, grinning broadly. “I’m great.”
“So,” one of the operatives asks. “What’s the plan, Lieutenant?”
“The Kraken Special Squad are the best mercenaries in the galaxy,” Lieutenant Crem notes. “We have hired to extract the princess. That means this is to be a quick, clean job. Non-lethal weaponry only — Disintegrator Phil, I’m looking in your direction.”
The Kraken operative sighs heavily in disappointment and holsters his Disintegration Cannon.
Lieutenant Crem brings up a holographic readout of the Crystal Labyrinth. “We have a lot of ground to cover, but the good news is that there is only one exit. We’ll have to run into the princess eventually. Still, we’ll cover more ground if we split up into fireteams. Each team will cover one section of the Crystal Labyrinth and the first team to locate the princess will radio into the others and we’ll converge on their location.”
The members of the Kraken Special Squad nod along with their Lieutenant.
“But,” she continues, “this is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the galaxy. That means, even with non-lethal weapons, you will check your fire. We have a reputation to uphold and the last thing we need is to deal with the legal fallout of accidentally stunning some nice Eleftherian lady.”
“Well,” Operative Slyce mutters, “I know one Eleftherian lady it wouldn’t be so bad to stun. You should see how hard she can swing that purse of hers!”
“Have I made myself clear? Lieutenant Crem asks. “Disintegrator Phil, I’m looking in your direction.”
“Why don’t I just stand guard out here?” he offers.
“Noted.”
“A-and,” he asks, excitedly reaching for his Disintegration Cannon, “if anyone comes snooping around out here, I’ll disintegrate them!”
“No.”
Stepping past the ticket-bot, Kathryn glances over her shoulder.
“Oh,” she groans, seeing the group of mercenaries in familiar dark armour and kraken emblem arrayed just outside the entrance of the Crystal Labyrinth. “Frang it.”
“Is that—” Amarantha begins, following Kathryn’s gaze and letting her voice travel off as her gaze falls on the mercenaries of the Kraken Special Squad. “Frang it.”
“Go!” Kathryn calls, grabbing Amarantha’s arm with one hand and Dunstella’s with the other and running in the Crystal Labyrinth, hoping to lose the mercenaries around the corner.
“Please,” the ticket-bot calls after them. “For your own safety, do not run inside the Crystal Labyrinth.”
So, I guess “Disintegrator Phil” kinda breaks the pattern of “named after cheese,” but 1) I’m not sure how viable that’s actually gonna be in the long run and 2) it’s worth it for having a character named “Disintegrator Phil…”
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