Copyright J.B. Norman
Has Kat mentioned lately that she doesn’t like pirates? She definitely doesn’t.
Yet here she is, press-ganged by her father to temporarily join the crew of Captain Widdershins Johnson, which has been decimated by an implausible but lengthy list of unexpected calamities: first it was the bad oysters that ravaged the alimentary tracts of most of the crew, then it was an unfortunate clerical error that led to several crew members technically losing their status as sanctioned members of the Brotherhood of the Coasts, then more of the crew got pretty banged up the ship’s old sail got loose from the mast and landed on them.
But, fortunately for the crew of Widdershins Johnson, he knows Dorian Darkstone and he knows a guy. Well, actually, he knows Kat. As much as she doesn’t like pirates and never wants to be a pirate herself, she’s not one to turn down a paying job, so she figured she’d be able to manage for the duration.
What’s the worst that could happen?
Actually, based on her previous experience with pirates, she can think of all sorts of terrible things that could happen. But, she tells herself, trying to reassure herself, what are the odds of any of those things happening to the same one person twice?
Luckily, Widdershins Johnson isn’t bad as pirates goes. Even though she’s only a temporary substitute aboard his ship, he treats her like a member of the crew
Kat has noticed something about the strange pirate captain, though. Whenever the ship sets sail, he’s got the same umbrella with him. Rain, or shine, he’s got his umbrella out and ready.
Salvage Thursday? Umbrella.
Escorting a wealthy dowager to the vacation spas of Goldharbour? Umbrella.
Putting the new sail through its paces? Umbrella.
Even just walking through the Dock District to the ship? Umbrella.
Umbrella, umbrella, umbrella. No exceptions whatsoever.
He never explains why he always has that umbrella, and it’s driving Kat mad. Or if he knows something the rest of the crew doesn’t or has some uncanny ability to predict the weather. Maybe it’s actually a gun or a sword disguised as an umbrella. Or maybe he just really likes umbrellas.
And one of the crew seems to know either, and Kat can’t help but wonder if this is all some needlessly elaborate prank they’ve decided to play on her.
In terms of sheer weirdness, this probably puts him something solidly in the middle third of Realmgard’s pirates…
It’s a day that ends in Y, so the ship is sailing out of the harbour and that means that Captain Widdershins Johnson, as ever, has his umbrella in hand.
Finally, Kat’s curiosity gets the better of her. She just can’t take it anymore. She needs to know.
“So,” she asks. “We do you always have that umbrella with you? What are you going to do with another ship attacks us?”
The pirate turns to Kat with a grin.
“Well, what are you going to do if it rains?”
First things first: I didn’t forget to post this one, I was just busy through most of the evening and night today…
Secondly, this is based on a joke one of my undergrad professors told us one class. It definitely works better when it’s only a few sentences long, extending the scene to 500 words hurts the delivery.
That being said, the whole point of these exercises, as I’ve said repeatedly, is really just to bang out 500 words, then come back and refine the basic scene into something that actually works in a full story as necessary.
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