Now, I’m not a golfer, but I think Chess is this one:
© J.B. Norman — Published by Emona Literary Services™
“Chess me,” Dunstana declares, looking up from the board.
“Chess… you?” her opponent asks from underneath the shadows of his hood.
“Why did we let Dunstana play chess with the evil wizard who wants to eat our souls?” Kat mutters.
“She’s faster than she looks,” Tenebella answers. “She was the first to the table.”
Kat groans. If she had a mark for every time an evil wizard challenged her and her friends to some crazy competition with their souls on the line, she’d have two marks.
Normally, Kat isn’t one to turn down free money, but, frankly, that’s two marks too many in this case…
“Tenebella,” Kat says. “The next time you and an evil wizard have your eye on the same book of… weird stuff —”
“Eldritch lore,” Tenebella says indignantly.
“— you’re on your own.”
“My guy made it all the way across the board,” Dunstana notes. “He gets a prize!”
The evil wizard blinks. “Do you mean king you?”
Dunstana shrugs. “I guess?”
“We are. playing. chess!”
“Yeah, and?” Dunstana asks.
“There are no kings in chess!” the wizard cries.
Dunstana points down to the board. “He’s right there, genius!”
“She’s got you there, genius!” Kat calls.
The wizard grits his teeth and indignantly clears his throat. Rather than admitting his mistake, he merely amends himself so he’s no longer wrong. “There is no promotion to king in chess.”
“My dude wants his prize,” Dunstana insists.
“He doesn’t get a prize!” the wizard shrieks.
“But he made it all the way to the other side of the board,” Dunstana says. “If you didn’t want to give him a prize, you should have stopped him first.”
“She’s got you there, genius!” Kat calls.
“That’s checkers!” the wizard shrieks.
“No,” Dunstana replies, shaking her head. “We’re playing chess.”
“Are you doing this on purpose?” the wizard asks.
Dunstana blinks innocently up at him. “Doing what?”
She glances down at the board and moves one of her pieces.
“Chessmate,” she declares.
“It’s checkm—” the wizard begins before he fully processes her words.
His eyes go wide.
His face falls.
“Wait. What?”
“My guy in the hat,” Dunstana explains, pointing down at the board. “He’s got your king trapped.”
“Impossible!”
The wizard’s baleful gaze falls upon the board, then back at Dunstana, then back at the board.
“Impossible!”
Dunstana wordlessly gestures to her guy in the hat.
“IMPOSSIBLE!”
Dunstana wordlessly gestures to her guy in the hat.
“Wait. It wasn’t even your turn!”
Dunstana shrugs. “You spent too long yelling at me to take your turn.” She shrugs again. “Don’t get mad at me. I don’t make the rules.”
“That isn’t even one of the rules!”
As Dunstana reaches to ‘help’, she conveniently loses her balances and knocks the board off the table.
“You did that on purpose!” the wizard shrieks.
Dunstana blinks innocently up at him. “Did what?”
Kat yawns and glances over at Tenebella. “Can we just fight him now?”
“As per sections three, five, eight, and forty-two of the proclamation of the Third Stygian Council,” Tenebella intones, “this would be considered a forfeiture of his right to formally challenge for our souls.”
Kat blinks at her.
“We can fight him now,” Tenebella explains.
“Awesome!” Dunstana cries, snatching up the chessboard. “Hey, stupid, chess this!”
And she breaks it over the wizard’s hooded head.
With apologies to Ingmar Bergman…
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