[Author’s note: the October 15 and 16 Realmdard Short Scenes have been repurposed as part of the opening chapter of the full-length Realmgard story, The Alchemist of Middlesbrooke.]
© J.B. Norman — Published by Emona Literary Services™
“Hey, you!” a shady figure shouts as it leaps out of the alley at Falcata.
Perhaps this is merely the way of things in the big cities of Realmgard, but Falcata is not accustomed to being accosted by shady figures at the mouths of alleys. The Amazons back home did no such thing. She looks around in bemusement, trying to determine if the shady figure may be addressing somebody else.
“You are talking to me?” she asks when she sees no-one else.
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Can I perhaps help you?”
“You can help us, alright. You can help me and my friends by giving us all your money,” the shady figure says.
He steps forward, becoming much less shady, though no more pleasant to behold, in the better light.
“Ah, of course,” Falcata mutters. “You are a robber. You are attempting to mug me, yes?”
The robber nods.
“Well, yeah, that’s the idea,” the brigand mutters, waving his friends forwards from the mouths of other alleys.
“I am afraid I cannot allow that,” Falcata says. “I have important business and cannot be delayed. I promised to have a tea party with Sally and Count Bunnyescu.”
“Well, just give us all your money and you can hurry right along to go play with Sandy,” the brigand offers.
“Sally,” Falcata says.
“Whatever. Look. Just give us the money. There’s no reason to make a scene,” the robber insists. “And think about this. There’s only one of you, even if you are nine feet tall. And there’s five of us.”
“Yes. Poor odds, indeed,” Falcata notes gravely. “For you.”
She takes a deep breath and cracks her knuckles.
“Shall we begin?”
Just as the robbers anticipated, the fight goes poorly. Just as they didn’t anticipate, it goes poorly for them.
Falcata didn’t even have to do anything to dispatch the first robber; he tripped over his own untied shoelace. The second tried a sneak attack from behind; he was caught by Falcata and flung into the third. The fourth was taken out of the fight with a single stiff kick to the leg.
“Ow,” he groans. “My leg! She kicked my leg out of my leg!”
And their leader ended up stuffed upside-down into a nearby barrel, his ongoing futile threats and promises of vengeance muffled by the salted cod with which he is sharing the barrel.
All in all, Falcata reflects, a poor showing on their part. Though a suitable exercise, perhaps, for an Amazon child just beginning her training.
A little while later, Falcata lowers herself onto the chair across the table from Sally and Count Bunnyescu. The toy rabbit is dressed for the occasion, dapperly dressed in a top hat, bow tie, and little monocle.
“You’re late,” Sally notes.
“I am sorry, Sally,” Falcata says. “I was held up. Some bandits tried to rob me.”
“Oh no! That’s terrible,” Sally gasps. “For them.”
Sally hasn’t known Falcata for very long, but she has already come to greatly respect the Amazon warrior. Seeing her, Sally has truly come to believe that she, too, can grow up to be seven feet tall and awesome.
Read more Realmgard Short Scenes here.
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