Writing Every Day in March: Day 20

“Prices aren’t the only thing I’ve been known to slash.”

On the one hand, I feel like I’m falling into the Star Wars trap of “Somehow, Palpatine returned Everyone Knows Everyone.”

On the other hand, none of these scenes are canon until they end up incorporated into a real story, so that’s really only a hypothetical. And I actually think it makes sense for Florianne to be a Winfield — and therefore Kat and Dunstana’s (maternal) cousin.

I have been toying with fleshing out the Winfield clan. I’ve mentioned in passing that Estelle has six sisters that I haven’t really used yet and established that the Winfields are basically a merchant clan.

But, again, the point of these exercises is to sit down and write 500 words every day for a month. The literary merits are a purely secondary (if that) concern.

Having recently been introduced to Amara’s cousin from the country Egeria, Kat has recently returned the favour by introducing Amara and Egeria to her own cousin Florianne.

The Winfields, the family of Kat’s mother, are to the merchant profession what the Darkstones are to piracy. And, like, most of history’s most notable Winfields, Florianne has proven herself a shrewd and capable merchant.

And pretty handy with an axe…

“This is unbearable,” Amara groans as she Kat and Egeria help Florianne managed her stall in the Porthaven market.

She throws her hands up in dismay.

“I am far too delicate to be a shopkeep,” she continues. “It’s hot. It’s loud. And I think this crate you’re forcing me to sit on is giving me a splinter in my —”

But, Cousin Amy,” Egeria protests. “What about noblesse oblige? Miss Florianne has asked for our help, and that means we’re honour-bound to help her however we can, goshdarnit!”

Much as Kat never expected a Valda to utter the word “y’all”, she never expected this Valda to mutter the phrase “noblesse oblige”.

Amara indignantly wiggles her nose.

“I suppose that is true,” she mutters. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

She shifts gingerly on the crate she’s seated herself on.

“Definitely a splinter,” she mutters.

Meanwhile, Egeria turns to Florianne.

“Now Miss Florianne,” Egeria muses. “If I were you, I’d look to diversify my business. For one thing, I’d sell more taters.”

Florianne blinks at her.

Taters?” she repeats. “You mean potatoes?”

Egeria nods eagerly.

“Everybody loves themselves some taters!”

“That doesn’t really fit my business model,” Florianne notes, gesturing at assortment of antiques and knick-knacks she’s collected for sale during her latest trip around Realmgard.

“You could open a second stall,” Egeria offers. “Nothin’ but taters!”

“I, uh, I’ll keep that in mind,” Florianne mutters.

A prospective customer walk up to the stall, and Florianne is on him like a Turboshark on a seal, smelling a sale just like how a Turboshark can smell a single drop of blood from miles away.

“That spoon is real Pelayan steel,” she tells the customer. “You won’t find better workmanship anywhere. And, if you ever need to fight off assassins while you’re eating soup, you’re all set!”

“How much?” the customer asks sceptically.

“Fifteen marks,” Florianne says. “It’s expensive, but you’re paying for quality.”

“Fifteen marks?” the customer exclaims. “For a spoon? What kind of scam are you running here, lady?”

“I’ll have you know I pride myself on being a fair and honest businesswoman,” Florianne notes.

“You’re a thief, is what you are,” the man counters.

Thief?” Florianne repeats, as her face twitches and turns red. “I am a businesswoman!”

She slowly rises to her feet.

“Egeria,” she says through clenched teeth, “be a dear and reach me my axe, would you?”

“Gosh, Miss Florianne, Egeria says, the colour draining from her face. “Y’all aren’t gonna hurt this fella, are ya?”

“Prices aren’t the only thing I’ve been know to slash,” Florianne growls.

“Gosh,” Egeria says again. “The Big City is scary.”

Also that “Splinter in my—”/”But, Cousin Amy” exchange is one of the cleverest (and suggestive) things I have ever written. FYI that’s probably about as vulgar as I’d ever want to get a Realmgard story, though it’s not really that vulgar objectively.

I’ve definitely used “butt” in my stories before.

Also also, I’m pretty sure that some variation of “prices aren’t the only thing I slash” is a recurring Anna line in Fire Emblem.

As always, follow me here:

Sign-up for my email newsletter here.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s