I’ve mentioned at least once by now that the only real romance arc I have in mind so far is Nolan and Amara eventually ending up as a couple.
On the other hand, one of my recurring plot arcs — at least in this sort daily scenes — is balancing the fact that Tenebella is both a typical Dark Sorceress and a typical Teenage Girl, so I like the idea of having her go on some typical, awkward teen dates.
To recap, Tenebella and the five members of the Four Horsemen (the joke being that Gwaedbran is not a man…) are basically crashing Darkstone Manor as ambassadors to Porthaven from Tenebella’s father Rhadamanthus the Grim.
Tenebella is upstairs at Darkstone Manor, preparing for her very first date. She’d met a nice boy at Guild Authority of Porthaven’s Summer Special Training Program, and, well, one thing led to another and Tenebella was finally able to induce him into asking her out.
Anselm is a nice boy, but on the whole, rather indecisive…
“Which of my stolas shall I wear?” Tenebella asks Gwaedbran. “The black nether-silk warmed in the bosom of a mother unicorn for five winters? The white Gallicantien velour thrice-hallowed by the hermit-priests of Mont-Saint-Artème?
“The dark blue best suits your complexion, my lady,” Gwaedbran offers.
“Ah, yes,” Tenebella says. “The fustian, treated in the waters at the shore where a drowned sailor was resuscitated in the arms of his beloved. How fitting for date night.”
Dressed in the dark blue stola, Tenebella steps out of the room.
“You look lovely, milady,” Captain Ratsumies says.
“Thank you, Captain,” she says.
“We shall follow behind milady at a safe distance,” Captain Ratsumies assures Tenebella.
“No,” she says.
“So that should the gentlemen try anything unseemly, we might thoroughly and brutally crush him in defence of milady’s honour and well-being,” Captain Ratsumies continues.
“No.”
Downstairs, there’s a knock on the door. With a sigh, Kat hauls herself up from her beloved plaid couch and goes to open the door.
Tenebella’s date is standing there, shifting nervously on the porch.
“Hi,” the young man says timidly. “I’m here to, um, pick up Princess Tenebella? We’re going on a date tonight.”
“Yeah,” Kat says. “She’ll be right down.”
“And,” the young man asks. “Are you, like, Princess Tenebella’s sister?”
“No. Just her roommate, I guess,” Kat explains, feeling no particular need to explain the finer points of how her house as become the provisional embassy of the delegation from Lord Rhadamanthus the Grim to Porthaven…
Before Tenebella descends the stairs, the Four Horsemen march down the stairs and take up position flanking the doors.
“Horsemen!” Captain Ratsumies calls.
“Hey-ho!”
“Adopt the pose of Little Punk Intimidation!”
“Gah!” Tenebella’s date says, flinching back from the Four Horsemen. “Please don’t eat my bones!”
“Guys, come on,” Kat says. “Let me handle this.”
“As you wish, Miss Kat,” Captain Ratsumies says, stepping back, but keeping his gaze fixed on Kat and doing that ‘I’m watching you’ thing were you point at your eyes and then at the other guy.
“Listen,” Kat tells Tenebella’s date. “You’ve got nothing to worry about from them as long you keep your hands to yourself and treat Tenebella with the proper respect.”
“Is, uh, is this one of those things we’re you act like you’re not threatening me, but you’re subtextually being really threatening?” Tenebella’s date asks nervously.
“No,” Kat assures me. “Tenebella doesn’t need me to threaten you. She’s plenty capable of destroying you in all sorts of horrible ways on her own if you make her made. So, just don’t.”
He heaves sigh of relief. “Oh. That’s — Wait. What?”
“Look,” Kat continues. “All I’m saying is that I want you to show Tenebella a nice night on the town. She likes old, weird stuff, so maybe the Museum or the Art Gallery. Then, treat her to a nice dinner.”
She slips him a few marks.
“And don’t you dare be stingy. She deserves the best, yeah?”
For his part, Anselm is feeling that the odds of the night ending with his bones being eaten are about equal…
It’s all fun and games until your date’s elite bodyguards eat your bones…
On the one hand, I think the whole “I’ll eat your bones if you break milady’s heart” thing is a little played-out, but it makes sense for the Horsemen to be overprotective, since that’s basically their literal, actual job.
But, like, as Kat is pointing out, Tenebella is more than capable of going Sublunar on somebody on her own.
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