We’ve established that Gwaedbran rides a giant pig into battle. Kat is an archer. And, since horse archers are historically pretty effective (though not invincible), I figured “archer on a pig”, is basically Horse Archer, But More and probably not something I’d ever want to face in battle.
“Darn it, Gwaedbran,” Kat mutters.
Lately, she’s been feeling some ungenerous feelings about the Morfilodish battle-boar rider. These past few days, Gwaedbran has been laid up with a sprained ankle and thus unable to answer Tenebella’s call to arms.
In her official capacity as the ambassador of Rhadamanthus the Grim to Porthaven, Tenebella had formalised a military alliance between the Free Mercantile City of Porthaven and the Ansangaarian hordes, offering her assistance to Porthaven in the face of the threat of an unusually well-organised roving band of mercenary raiders trying to conquer themselves a kingdom.
With its usual rider confined to a bed, the boar had seemed drawn to Kat — in Kat’s on opinion, distressingly so. Gwaedbran insisted that the boar had selected Kat as its substitute rider. For her part, Kat insisted that under no circumstances would she be riding into battle on a pig. But Gwaedbran had looked just so forlorn that Kat hadn’t had the heart to say No. So, here she is, perched on the back of a giant pig, staring down the renegade army of raiders assailing Porthaven’s outlying territory.
“Right,” Kat tells the boar. “I don’t like anything about this, but you seem like a nice, um, boar. So, you keep me alive, I’ll keep you alive, and one day, we’ll look back on this and laugh.”
The boar snorts in a way that Kat hopes is an affirmative.
Kat laughs to herself.
“Honestly, what am I worried about?” she muses. “I’m on a giant pig.”
At Tenebella’s signal, the mixed army of Porthaven and the Ansangaarian hordes begins to advance.
Kat puts her heels to the boar’s side and the beast lurches forward.
“Gah!” Kat exclaims, almost tumbling from the saddle. With her hands occupied holding her bow, she’s really glad she hasn’t been skipping Leg Day lately.
Once Kat has grown accustomed to the motion of the boar, she starts feeling reassured by the presence of the great, snorting beast — again, she’s got a giant pig. Why should she be afraid?
She regains her equilibrium and reaches for an arrow. She sets it to the bowstring, draws it back and shoots.
“Yeah,” she calls. “How do you like that, jerks? You come to my city, run around like you own the place, and try to conquer everything? Well, I have a giant pig! Who’s laughing now?”
She laughs.
“Me. That’s who’s laughing.”
She leans in close to the pig’s ear.
“Get closer. I want to shoot them some more,” she instructs.
The pig snorts and charges forward.
As ever accompanied by Captain Ratsumies, Tenebella surveys the battlefield.
“Clearly,” she muses. “These louts have never faced Morfilodish battle-boars. Kat has certainly swayed the battle decisively in our favour.
“Milady,” Captain Ratsumies offers, “Miss Kat displays an uncanny proficiency at the reins of a battle-boar. Does she perhaps have any Morfilodish ancestry?”
“Get back here, you chumps!” Kat calls, drawing her bow as the battle-boar thunders forward and the enemy host quickly retreats back.
“Hmm, yes,” Tenebella says, thoughtfully rubbing her chin. “Make a note, Captain. Henceforth, we shall train larger numbers of boar archers among the hordes.”
I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve seen Captain Ratsumies without him dancing…
Wow. One more day left. Full recap of the month coming in a day or two, first chapter of The Valley of Appraisal on Friday.
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