Now, for today the thing to keep in mind about huckleberries is that:
N-no. That’s not what I was going to say…
The thing to keep in mind about huckleberries is that the phrase “I’m your huckleberry” means something like ‘I’m the person for the job’, with a particular nuance of ‘I agree to fight you’ — as perhaps most famously depicted by Val Kilmer‘s Doc Holliday in 1993 cowboy movie Tombstone.
As you could probably guess, I had watched Tombstone a couple days before I wrote the original version of this scene…
Copyright
J.B. Norman
As they head along the road back to Porthaven after another successful adventure, the Lyte Brigade find themselves gazing into a very strange mirror. Staring back the Lyte Brigade is a rival group of six adventurers — uncannily similar to the members of the Lyte Brigade, and yet undeniably different in strange ways that just make the similarities all the more acutely uncanny.
“Are they Evil Us?” Pela asks, staring at the group of six adventurers staring down the Lyte Brigade.
“Anyone who wears that much black leather has to be evil,” Matilda notes.
“I’m Nathaniel Reagan,” their leader declares.
Matilda rolls her eyes. “Oh,” she groans. “I’m never going to remember that. You’ll just be Evil Nolan.”
“And this,” Evil Nolan continues, pointing to the young woman standing beside him. “Is my little sister Madeline.”
“And that would be me Evil Me,” Matilda mutters. “The good news is that I’m much prettier than she is.”
“Oh, you are not, Old Lady!” Evil Matilda counters, sticking her tongue out at her counterpart. “I can hear your hair greying for here!”
“Old Lady?” Matilda repeats hotly. “Can I explode her now, Nolan?”
“And this,” Evil Nolan continues, pointing to the dapper young man on his other side. “Is Sir Oswald de Marburton-Burtonburton.”
“I know him!” Tancred says. “His aunt is Mother’s favourite art historian!”
“The pleasure is all yours,” the knight mutters with a dismissive wave of his hand.
Evil Nolan points to the pale, dark-haired Elf in his group. She’s wearing a ruby necklace. “This is Invidia Imagina.”
“Let me guess,” Matilda says. “She’s your girlfriend, right?”
Evil Nolan nervously clears his throat but says nothing.
Evil Amara, on the other hand, haughtily flips her hair. “He is not my boyfriend!” she insists.
“Oh please,” Amara scoffs — utterly aware of the irony, “don’t lie to yourself!”
Evil Nolan regains his composure and continues introducing his companions. He points to the Dwarf woman standing at the front of his group. “This is Gertrude Bergarbeiter.”
“So, uh,” Pela asks the Dwarf woman, “how tall are you?”
“Taller than you,” she counters.
“Oh, you are not!” Pela counter-counters.
“And, finally,” Evil Nolan concludes, pointing over his shoulder to the large, grizzled fearsome-looking man looming over his shoulder. “Is my uncle, Axe the Blade.”
“Well,” Matilda muses. “Evil Falcata is definitely the ugliest of you lot.” She glances up to her Amazon companion. “No offence, Falcata.”
“None taken,” Falcata answers. “I think?”
“We’re the Reagan Six,” Evil Nolan concludes. “We’re the hottest new adventuring guild in Porthaven!”
“But we’re the hottest new adventuring guild in Porthaven!” Pela protests.
“And,” Evil Nolan continues, “we’ve been hired to steal the Tome of Sorphronius!”
“But we’ve been hired to recover the Tome of Sorphronius!” Pela protests.
“Well,” Axe the Blade says from the back of the group. “I guess that means we’ll have to fight about it.”
“Reagan Six, move out!” Evil Nolan calls.
Nolan gasps. “He stole my thing!”
“I want the big one,” Axe the Blade says, pointing at Falcata. “She might actually be a challenge.”
Falcata obliges, stepping forward and drawing her sword.
“Ego sum vaccinium tuum,” she says.
The rest of my writing exercises are here. This one was originally written in March 2023.
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