Originally, this was actually part of Captain Goblinbeard, but I couldn’t get it to work, though this is what the characters are alluding to and why Souricier is trussed up to the mast of the Falchion…
Copyright J.B. Norman
Billie Hawkins follows Captain Goblinbeard and the rest of the crew to the lighthouse island at the edge of Porthaven’s harbour. The Countess-Dowager Dirigible wanted to paint the harbour and hired Captain Goblinbeard and his crew to escort her to the lighthouse.
But as it happens, Goblinbeard and his crew aren’t the only pirates destined for the lighthouse island.
“Arrrgh,” Captain Goblinbeard growls as he glares up at the other pirate coming down the stairs leading from the beach to the lighthouse. “Souricier, ye scurvy dog!”
“Well well well,” the other pirate says, slowly making his way down the stairs. “Look what the catfish dragged in.”
“Arrrgh, Souricier,” Captain Goblinbeard growls. “Yer metaphors be faulty — faulty, says I! By and large, catfish be freshwater fish!”
“Oh, please, if I wanted a taxonomy lesson, I’d go to … the taxonomy place,” Souricier says.
“Yarr,” Captain Goblinbeard continues. “And yer vocabulary is lackin’ as ever.”
Formerly a member of the Brotherhood of the Coasts, after being kicked out of the Brotherhood for behaviour detrimental to the reputation of the Brotherhood, Jehan-Picard Souricier has since been doing his utmost to make a nuisance of himself to the Brotherhood: attacking their ships, crashing their meetings, challenging the members of the Brotherhood to duels.
He has made himself a particular rival to Captain Goblinbeard, who has sworn to be the one to finally bring down Souricier.
“Now be the hour,” Captain Goblinbeard declares. “Forward, me lads! It be high time to bring this blackguard down once an’ fer all.”
Captain Goblinbeard looks up at Billie over his shoulder. “Yarr, attend well, Miss Hawkins,” he says. “And ye shall see the best way to best a man in a mere three blows.”
As Captain Goblinbeard and his crew advance on Souricier, he kicks up a cloud of sand right into their faces.
As the only one in the crew without a faceful of sand, Billie slowly starts circling around, looking for an opening to capitalise one against Souricier.
“Arrgh!” Captain Goblinbead groans though the blinding, stinging cloud of sand. “Souricier. Ye knave! Truly, ye be the basest o’ cowards.”
“Basest of cowards?” Souricier repeats indignantly. “Basest of cowards? Basest of cowards, is it?” He scoffs. “Would the basest of cowards do this?”
He reaches for his sword…
…and promptly adjusts his scabbard so it doesn’t get in his way as he dashes away.
“Where in the name of Anassa’s sacral cheeses did you come from?” he exclaims as he almost blunders right into Billie.
Billie’s only response is to wordlessly stick out her long leg, tripping the fleeing Souricier and sending him sprawling to the beach.
Still blinking away the sand, the rest of Captain Goblinbeard’s crew pounces on Souricier before he can get back to his feet.
“Well done, Miss Hawkins!” Captain Goblinbeard exclaims. “Truly, I’ve taught ye well! And yet even so, I must acknowledge yer initiative and quick thinkin’, lass.”
He tips his hat.
“Thank you, Captain,” Billie says.
“Haul that one off to the brig!” Captain Goblinbeard tells the crew.
“Now,” the Countess-Dowager Dirigible says, stepping forward. “I do hope I can paint the harbour without any further delays, Captain.”
Captain Goblinbeard tips his hat again. “Aye, Your Worship,” he says. “I do apologise for any consternation that may have caused ye.”
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