Copyright J.B. Norman
“Hey, Dad,” Kat asks from the door of her father’s study. “Do you know a pirate named Morgan C. Henriksen?”
Dorian looks up for his desk.
“Morfilodish fellow?” he asks
Kat nods.
“Moustache?”
Kat nods.
“Parrot who needs a lesson in how to properly address a lady?”
Kat blushes.
“Y-yeah,” she mutters. “It kept mentioning that I’ve got gams that don’t quit…”
Dorian raises his hand to slightly higher than his shoulder. “About yea tall? Him, that is. Not the disrespectful parrot.”
Kat nods again.
“Yeah,” she says. “He was going around the Nail today, looking to recruit freelancers. I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t regret signing up before I agree to anything. Especially if it means I’m going to have a parrot saying weird things to me the whole time.”
“Morgan C. Henriksen,” Dorian says thoughtfully.
“So you do know him?” Kat asks.
Dorian nods.
“Good man. Parrot’s a bit of a nuisance, though,” he says. “I married his daughter.”
Kat’s jaw hits the floor.
“W-what?”
She stares in horror at her father.
“Does Mom know?”
She looks over her shoulder.
“M-Mom?” she calls tentatively.
Dorian blinks his confusion.
“Wait. What?” he mutters.
“You married his daughter? When you’re already married to Mom? To my Mom! Are you trying to scar me up for life?” Kat continues. “Is that even legal? I mean, I know Pirates get up to weird stuff, but still. What. the. hey. Dad.”
“Kat, what are you talking about? Dorian asks. “No, not like that. “I married his daughter. I didn’t get married to her!”
“Those mean the same thing!” Kat protests.
“No, Kat,” Dorian says. “I mean that I officiated the marriage of his daughter. Brotherhood captains are legally empowered to officiate weddings held aboard their ship.”
He stares gravely at Kat.
“It was a lovely ceremony, by the way,” he informs her. “She shot the bouquet out of one of the cannons. And the cake had a lovely lemon cream filling.”
He frowns.
“If only that parrot hadn’t been flying around asking the bridesmaids if they were telescopes, because they were making it see stars.”
Kat groans.
“Ugh. Dad,” she mutters. “You could have spared us this whole thing if you had just said a couple extra words in the first place. “If you were the guy in the charge of the weddings, why didn’t you just say that?”
“I did say that, Kat” Dorian insists. “Well, I do happen to be married — quite happily, by the way — to your mother,” Dorian explains. “And the Brotherhood waived the right for sailors to take handfast wives at sea about a hundred years back. So, I figured it was obvious from context what I meant.”
“That is not what a normal person means when they say they married somebody,” Kat says. “Powers, Dad, you gave me a heart attack! And created some very unpleasant mental images, by the way.”
“It’s a perfectly legitimate dictionary definition of the word marry, Kat,” Dorian says.
“It doesn’t count if it’s, like, the twelfth definition on the list! That just means nobody uses the word that way!”
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