Writing Every Day in March: Day 5

“Would I lie to you?”

So, Plaid Jack comes across as much more of a barely-concealed, obviously-untrustworthy villain, which is admittedly not consistent with how he’s been portrayed up to now.

Granted, a lot of that is mostly because I’m just using him as a placeholder for this scene. Again, the goal of these things is to get to 500 words every day for a month, then maybe go back to them later and improve their literary merits if I want to incorporate them into a full-length story.

Short version: I didn’t really want to agonize over thinking up a new character, so I just fell back on Plaid Jack since he seemed the most likely candidate to unironically ask “Would I lie to you.”

So, yeah, this isn’t necessarily “canon” and when and if it ever does, I’m either going to re-work Plaid Jack into more Endearing Scoundrel than Conniving, Inevitable Traitor, or else develop a new character who actually will be a Conniving, Inevitable Traitor.

Whom Amara will hit with her parasol.

Dunstana, Kat, Amara, Lena, and Amara have hired the help of famous pirate captain Plaid Jackman for assistance in for tracking down the lost treasure of the famous Pelayan pirate Maximino Felipe Espino, a reputed map to which Lena stole from a gang of pirates back in Porthaven, and which she intends to give as a birthday to her father, himself yet another famous pirate by the name of Captain Goblinbeard.

And although Captain Goblinbeard is indeed Goblin, he does not, in fact, even have a beard.”

“Mr. Rackman,” Lena asks. “Are we getting close to the island?”

“It’s Captain,” Plaid Jack replies.

“Captain Rackman,” Lena begins, promptly being cut off.

“Actually,” he says, “It’s Commodore.”

“Wait,” Lena notes. “You just said Captain.”

The pirate shrugs. “Commodore sounds better,” he muses. “Plus, it’s a higher rank.”

“So, hey, whatever your name is,” Lena asks. “Are we getting close to the island?”

“Sure, sure,” Plaid Jack says. “A nice, easy cruise to the island. Nice, sheltered bay to make anchor, sandy beach, white sand. Quick trip across the island. We follow the map, we find the treasure. In and out in an afternoon. Yes, sir. Easy-peasy.”

That all sounds too easy.

“What aren’t you telling us?” Kat asks, narrowing her eyes at the pirate — and not just because his garish outfit is making her eyes water.

Plaid Jack scoffs. “Mors Dira. You ever been? Lovely this team of year. No hungry monsters, no raving pirates who’ve been marooned there for years. Nary a smoking volcano or vast expanse of jaggedy rocks. Why, it’s practically a vacation.”

He’s lying. Kat just knows. There’s something awful waiting for them on the island. And that name probably means something like ‘Seven Thousand Torments’ or ‘The Island That Eats Your Face’.

Amara frowns. “That name means Dreadful Death in Elven!”

“Called it,” Kat says to herself.

“Like I said,” Plaid Jack says, “easy-peasy.”

“I’m quite sure I don’t believe you,” Amara notes.

“Hey,” Plaid Jack asks, flashing his golden tooth. “Would I lie to you?”

Dunstana nods wordlessly.

“Yes,” says Kat.

“Yes,” says Lena.

“As a matter of fact,” Amara says. “You’ve lied to us rather frequently and unabashedly already.” She smiles icily and concludes with a pointed “Mr. Rackman.”

“It’s Admiral, actually,” he replies. “Admiral Plaid Jack Rackman. Oh, I like the sound of that. I can get me some of those little shoulder thingies.”

Lena throws up her hands in exasperation .“You just said to call you Commodore! You’re still lying to us!”

“Guilty as charge. But what can I say? I’m the ambitious sort,” Plaid Jack says. “And let me ask you this, would I lie to you going forward?”

Dunstana nods wordlessly.

“Yes,” says Kat.

“Yes,” says Lena.

“Katherine,” Amara declares, hefting her parasol. “I’m going to hit him with my parasol. That ought to set him straight.”

“Let it go, Amara,” Kat says. “Or at least wait until we’re back at port. He’s a jerk, but for right now, he’s our jerk.”

Incidentally, I’m starting to realise that I’m writing every pirate in Realmgard as a complete lunatic…

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