Writing Every Day in March: Day 6

“Observe this!”

There are plenty of tools out there to help writers and/or tabletop GMs flesh out their worldbuilding in the form of various internet [Thing] Generators — these ones and also this one, for example.

In brief, I got “Carpet of Oblivion” from using one of those a while back. Technically, I got it from misreading the thing it generated — I don’t remember, but “circlet” would make the most sense — asCarpet of Oblivion.”

I’m happy I got a chance to finally use it. “Carpet of Oblivion” sounds perfectly Realmgardian, though I’m not sure what it is or does.

Except, perhaps, tie the room together….

With the assistance of the Sisters Darkstone, the Lyte Brigade has reached its long sought-for goal. Travelling across Realmgard, facing a series of challenges and decoding a series of cryptic clues, each one more contrived and needless obtuse than the last, the group of adventurers has finally discovered the hiding place of one of the most legendary treasures in the history of Realmgard.

The eight adventurers hold their breath, eyes wide as they tentatively step towards the treasure.

“We’ve done it!” Amara exclaims, breaking the silence. “We’ve found the Carpet of Oblivion!”

“That carpet is going to look wonderful in our guild office,” Tancred notes. “I can’t help but think it will really tie the room together.”

“Wait,” Matilda interjects. “Why would we want to be walking around something called the Carpet of Oblivion? It’s not going to, like, melt us once we step on it, is it?”

“Don’t worry, Miss Matilda. It’s just a name,” Tancred assures her.

Falcata nods. “Named for the nobleman who commissioned it, the Marquis de Oblivion.”

“I think I know him,” Kat muses. “I’m pretty sure he wrestled Baron von Bad Guy a few years back.’

There’s a flash of light and a rush of wind and the air is filled with the distinct aroma — and fruity aftertaste — of a powerful magic spell being brought to bear.

Suddenly, the figure in along robe and with a hood pull over its face is now standing interposed between the eight adventurers and the Carpet of Oblivion.

“Ugh,” Kat mutters.

If she had a mark for every time an evil wizard interrupted one of her jobs, she have… well, a mark. But it’s still a real hassle.

The stranger throws back his hood. “It is I,” the wizard declares. “Marcomannius the Observer!”

The eight adventurers stare blankly at him.

“Is this a friend of yours?” Falcata asks.

“I have never seen this guy in my life,” Matilda answers.

“He’s a villain, I take it?” Tancred says.

“What did he say his name was?” Pela says. “Macaroni?”

Macaroni?” the wizard repeats indignantly. “Macaroni? Do you honestly think my name is Macaroni?

Pela nods.

“I — Wha — How on — Why would you even—” he sputters angrily. “Just — Ugh!”

He waves his arms dramatically and wizardily.

“You are meddling in affairs and powers beyond your ken!” the wizard warns. “For, I Marcomannius —”

He directs a pointed glower at Pela.

“What?” she asks defensive. “It’s not my fault you’re named for a pasta!”

“— the Observer!” the wizard continues dramatically. “Have come to —”

He trails off as Dunstana steps forward and he looks down at the tiny pirate in bewilderment.

“Hey,” she says, drawing her cork gun. “Observe this!

She shoots, sending a cork hurtling through the air. And right into the wizard’s face.

“Argh!” bellows the wizard, clutching the wounded right side of his face. “You wretched little — Argh!

Dunstana shoots again, aiming for the other side of his face.

“Lyte Brigade!” Nolan calls. “Move out! And, um, Kat and Dunstana, too, I guess.”

Kat’s just glad it’s somebody other than her getting a cork in the face.

Now, “observe this” is, like most things Realmgard, a Wrestling reference.

In brief, Hulk Hogan once took exception to a report in an issue of the Wrestling Observer — one of the more prominent magazines covering Pro Wrestling, doing it from a real-world perspective, rather than working to uphold the fiction of the sport. The Observer was reporting that Hogan’s ally Macho Man Randy Savage had injured his arm. Hogan took offence to this report and publicly burned a copy of the Observer while quipping “Observe this, brother!

Now, as it happens, Macho Man had injured his arm. But that’s neither here nor there…

I must say, I admire my own restraint in not having Dunstana say “brother”…

A reminder to check out this week’s chapter here:

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