June Realmgard Short Scenes Day 2: Eat Feet

Hope you like feet puns…

On the one hand, Dunstana making a feet-based pun is inspired by a wrestling move generally called Eat Defeat. On the other hand, Dunstana really is just kicking a guy – while the Eat Defeat looks like this:

Just in case you don’t get the pun, “Eat Defeat” sounds like “Eat the Feet” and the move is essentially slamming the other guy’s face into your foot. Quick sidebar, the different variations of the move performed by various wrestlers tend to have other pun-based names. Notably, Mia Yim (currently wrestling in WWE as Michin), the wrestler hitting the move in the video above, is half-Korean and has also called her version of the move “Seoul Food” – which is, in my opinion, a brilliant multi-level pun.

© J.B. Norman — Published by Emona Literary Services™

It’s just another day on the high seas of Realmgard. Which means, Kat reflects, with a heavy inward sigh, that it’s just another day fighting for her life against the pirates of the high seas of Realmgard.

Kat never wanted this. Kat hates this. But Katherine Hortensia Darkstone is nothing if not a dutiful big sister. So, here she is, helping her little sister fight off bad-guy pirates.

She isn’t even sure why they were so eager to board them. All Dunstana’s crew is carrying is 500 pairs of new boots of the 6th Regiment of Foot of the Middelmerish army.

The Admiral owes her for this…

Kat ducks the cutlass flashing for her face, pitches herself over a barrel on the deck as she does, then using her momentum to lash out with her foot and kick the nearest pirate. As she comes back down to the deck, she finds herself face-to-face with another pirate.

He takes a step forward and raises his cutlass.

“Hey, jerk!”

Kat glances up and her hear sinks when she Dunstana clutching a rope and standing on the, um, the … sideways part of the sail. Kat can’t really identify the parts of a boat at the best of times. And right now, Kat has other concerns…

“Dunstana,” Kat groans. “What are you doing? Why are you up there?”

“Don’t worry, Kat!” Dunstana calls down. “Jimena helped me get up here. And, besides, I’m about to do something really cool!”

Her glance shifts to the pirate Kat has been tussling with.

“Hey, jerk!” she calls again. “You leave my sister alone, jerk!”

“Stop calling me a jerk!” the pirate replies, with a surprising amount of childish petulant.

Dunstana raises her hand in front of her mouth and murmurs something that to Kat sounds like ‘A jerk says what?

“What?” the asks, blinking.

“Heh,” Dunstana chuckles with a smirk.

And with that, Dunstana clutches the rope in both hands, leaps off the mast and soars through the air over the deck towards the pirate.

She extends her feet, turning herself into a human projectile. She’s aiming right at the pirate menacing Kat, but Kat knows better than to trust Dunstana’s aim, so she quick sideways, hopefully clearing a path to the pirate for her sister.

“Eat feet!” Dunstana cries.

But of the little pirate’s soles crash straight into the pirate’s face, sending him sprawling to the deck.

As the arc of Dunstana’s swing comes to an end, she dangles above the deck, before scrambling down the rope. She hops to the deck.

Dunstana nods happily, adjusts her hat and then looks up at Kat.

“Man, I hope that guy’s name was Pete,” she declares.

Kat stares blankly at her sister.

“I told him to Eat feet,” Dunstana explains, like it’s obvious or reasonable. “If his name was Pete, I could have done three rhymes!”

Kat groans with so much force that it doubles her over.

Even so, she hears approaching footsteps, and not even looking up, she lashes out backwards with her fist, knocking down another of the enemy pirates.


Kat Darkstone be like:

Batman: The Animated Series – Warner Bros. Animation. image via Tenor.

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