June 1 — Amara’s Familiar Struggle
With a groan, she slumps over her desk, burying her face on the blank page beneath her.
“This is unbearable Katherine,” she laments, her voice muffled by the parchment. “Writing is still the hardest thing in the world!”
June 2 – “Eat Feet!”
“I told him to Eat feet,” Dunstana explains, like it’s obvious or reasonable. “If his name was Pete, I could have done three rhymes!”
June 3 — Tenebella & the Three Witches, Part 1
“Thus, I have enrolled you in the Pan-Realmgardian Program for the Mentorship of Young Women of Magical Inclinations,”
June 4 — Tenebella & the Three Witches, Part 2
Currently, Tenebella is listening raptly to three of the most prominent and powerful of Realmgard’s female magic-users: Photia the Flashing Flame, Ebul the Winter Chill, and Pallia the Shadow-Shroud.
June 5 — Matilda’s Mysterious Apple
Holding an apple that has apparently materialised out of nowhere, Matilda shrugs. And as the rest of the Lyte Brigade contemplates their surroundings, she continues to eat her apple.
June 6 – Lucia Continues to Have Made a Friend
“You know. We probably should give him a name.”
“Weren’t you just talking about wanting to eat him?”
“Yeah, but Alda told me not to.”
June 7 – You. Are. Cursed!
“Cursed! Cursed! Also cursed! Double-cursed!”
June 8 – Captain Goblinbeard, Thespian
“We’ll be startin’ with Scene 1. O’ the Prologue. O’ Act III. The play itself bein’ a separate interquel occurin’ contemporaneously to the second play in in the primary series o’ four.”
June 9 – The Gladiators of Porthaven
Somehow, for some reason, the Lords-Municipal of Porthaven decided that all the city’s young adventurers and pirates should be given the opportunity to be tossed into a big arena, left to their own devices, and forced to fight a seemingly endless horde of monsters, beasts, and guys with swords, dodging traps all the while.
June 10 – She Who Came from Afar
“We are come from Afar. From out of the Space between spaces and a Time that was already ancient when Old was young and Time was not yet reckoned, and your kind yet cowered in caves, cleaving close to their little fires to ward off the things walking in the night and nor had they yet learned to walk upright.”
June 11 – Looking at Octopus
As the other five watch, Tancred’s surprised yelp is muffled by the octopus latching onto his face, causing him to stumble blindly around the tide pool.
June 12 – The Hunting of the Shark
“Have ye ever seen it, lass? Have ye ever gazed into the oddly soulful eyes o’ the Small-to-Medium Anklebiter Shark?”
June 13 – You Killed My Father?
“Do I look like somebody who goes around killing people’s fathers?”
June 14 – Sheep People
“Farmer Marrow left me a copiously annotated guide to his sheep. Names, favourite kinds of glass upon which to graze. Which ones need a lullaby before bed. I really must endeavour to make his absence impact the flock as little as possible.”
June 15 – Dire (wolf) Straits
“Look at these claw-marks, I think it’s obvious what our culprit is.”
“Yeah! A Vampire! Right?”
“No, Roland.”
“A Mummy? Some… kinda… fish-guy?”
June 16 – Knock You All Down
“Therefore, I, Captain Ratsumies, will knock you all down!”
June 17 – The High Ground
“The boot’s on the other glove! I’m tall now, suckers! Who wants some of this?”
June 18 – Kat vs. Skadi vs. the Lyte Brigade vs. Planning
The six members of the Lyte Brigade stare dumbly as the Hrimfaxi woman hefts her two axes and goes charging off with a sound like:
“BLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!”
June 19 – Space is once again the Place
Katalina Darkstone, captain of the Bradamante, feels the sweat beading on her brow. As a freelance courier, she’s been stuck in some dire situations all across the galaxy. But this – this – is one of the toughest spots the young pilot has found herself in.
June 20 – Fighting Crime in Porthaven
Due to a recent major increase in criminal activity in Porthaven’s Dock District, the mercenary company of Boss Virrad and Company has been hired to lead the city’s response and put to rest the concerns and unsubtle public pitchfork-sharpenings of the Porthaven Dockside Business Owners’ Association, the Porthaven Friends of Not Performing Criminal Activities, and the Porthaven Light Opera Society who has moved into one of the warehouses as their rehearsal space.
June 21 – A Day for Fathers
“I hate this infernal day,” Ammianus mutters.
“Why, Daddy, is that because it’s also the anniversary o’ that fateful day Great-Uncle Horace done drownded in the crick? And ever since, his very own unquiet shade has been glimpse wanderin’ the banks o’ the crick and heard to remark in a ghostly wail Now where did my durn mule run off to?”
June 22 – Kat vs. Stringent Entrance Requirements
“To enter, you must be established to be either a pirate, or the son of a pirate.”
“Though, for legal purposes, ‘son’ is understood to also encompass the ‘girl-son’ of a pirate.”
“Girl-son? Do you mean daughter?”
June 23 – Vera’s New Trick
“Vera, are you just going to cast a spell that splashes them with water?”
“…Yes.”
June 24 – Talk to Me, Goose…
“You can trust Prima and Vera. They’re not going to eat you. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Unless you’re made or sugar.”
June 25 – The Holey Grail
“Captain Kid, that’s a colander…”
“Right. You said holey. Look! It’s literally full of holes!”
June 26 – On the Boiling of an Egg
‘Thus, our story begins with the very creation of the Universe.’
June 27 – It’s Raining Men?
“Cut me some slack, Sis! I’m not really sure how to react to this. It’s not like I usually have gorgeous men literally falling into my arms.”
June 28 – He’d hate to be carrying a cake right now
“Can you imagine? I wouldn’t be able to punch them if I had to be holding onto the cake. Plus, they’d be punching me and they’d probably smoosh the cake. And if I had a cake in the middle of a forest, it’s probably a pretty important cake, so it’d probably be bad that it got smooshed.”
June 29 – Hammer Time
“The spirit of the great hammer Eisernzorn is roused.”
June 30 – The Fine Art of Branding
“If pink is good enough for the great Assassin-King Boanerges the Heart-Taker, it is good enough for m’lady.”
Reminder that I regularly post more Realmgard Short Scenes, and the full list of those scenes is here.
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If you’ve enjoyed my content, please consider supporting me through Ko-fi or Patreon, or through Paypal by scanning the QR code below:
Follow Realmgard and other publications of Emona Literary Services™ below:
Subscribe to the Emona Literary Services™ Substack newsletter here.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
The author prohibits the use of content published on this website for the purposes of training Artificial Intelligence technologies, including but not limited to Large Language Models, without express written permission.
All stories published on this website are works of fiction. Characters are products of the author’s imagination and do not represent any individual, living or dead.
The realmgard.com Privacy Policy can be viewed here.
Realmgard is published by Emona Literary ServicesTM
