Today, we’ve got a reference to the Weather Girls’ Billboard Hot 100 hit – and Homer Simpson’s favourite song.

Now, admittedly, I’m more envisioning the man in question getting thrown through a window to kick off this scene, so it’s less “raining” him and more that he’s being projecting horizontally through the air and then falling.”

“Men are travelling in parabolic arcs” may be more accurate, but not nearly as catchy.

© J.B. Norman — Published by Emona Literary Services™

“Hello.”

“Uh, hi,” Vera mutters, looking down at the young man who came crashing through the tavern window to land virtually in her lap.

Meanwhile, Kat and Prima stare blinking at the broken window the young man in question came crashing through. Inside the tavern, Kat can see a group of people inside clambering towards the door, presumably in pursuit of the young man they presumably flung through the window.

She sighs.

Just another day at the Hammered Nail, she reflects wearily.

“We, uh, we’re about to get into a fight, aren’t we?” Prima asks.

Kat sighs again. “Yeah.”

Prima looks down at her sister and unsubtly clears her throat.

“Cut me some slack, Sis!” Vera insists. “I’m not really sure how to react to this. It’s not like I usually have gorgeous men literally falling into my arms.”

The young man, still lying in her lap blushes.

“You think I’m g-gorgeous?” he stammers.

“Are you kidding?” Kat interjects. “I could lose myself in your eyes for days! And those cheekbones! I wish I had cheekbones like that!”

“Yeah,” Prima concedes. “He’s a babe…”

“That’s weird,” Dunstana mutters, rolling her eyes. “You’re weird. Stop being weird and gross.”

“R-right,” Vera says, managing to pry her eyes off her handsome new acquaintance. “We should probably do something about all this. Up we go.”

She helps the young man to his feet.

“Ooh,” he groans, wobbling unsteadily as he stands.

Vera steadies him, making the most of her chance to hold onto his arm.

“I’m Vera, by the way,” she tells him.

“Adrian,” the young man answers, managing to steady himself.

“Ugh,” Kat notes. “Even his name is hot!”

The door of the Nail bursts open.

“There!” the leader of the group of people says, pointing to the young man they flung through the window.

“Shoot,” Vera says, quickly surveying their surroundings. “I don’t see anything to splash them with.”

“You,” Kat says, pointing at Adrian as he steps forward to challenge her pursuers. “If it turns out that you’re the bad guy here and these dudes are only after you because you’re really, like, an evil wizard, or something. You are going to wish windows had never been invented, because I will personally through your beautiful little head and your deep, soulful eyes, and your fantastic cheekbones through every single window in this city, okay?”

“N-noted,” Adrian mutters.

“Yeah!” Dunstana says, looking up at the handsome young man and doing that thing where you point to your eyes and then at them.

Then she turns to her sister.

“Can I start shooting people now?” Dunstana asks, eagerly hefting her cork gun.

As Kat and Dunstana stride forward to meet Adrian’s pursuers, Vera very pointedly decides to keep holding onto the handsome young man. Telling herself that he clearly needs her support because he could keel over from his injuries at any moment and not because he smells like sandalwood and vanilla…

“So, um, Adrian” she offers. “You doing anything later?”

“This is not the time!” Prima cries.

---

But, also, if it actually were raining men, would not this torrent of men cause an unquantifiable amount of property damage and bodily harm?

You do you, (Weather) girls, But I fail to see how this is a good thing…

And if you want more more Realmgard, please considering subscribing to me on my various platforms listed at the bottom of this page.

If you’ve enjoyed my content, please consider supporting me through Ko-fi or Patreon, or through Paypal by scanning the QR code below:

Follow Realmgard and other publications of Emona Literary Services™ below:

Subscribe to the Emona Literary Services™ Substack newsletter here.

---

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

The author prohibits the use of content published on this website for the purposes of training Artificial Intelligence technologies, including but not limited to Large Language Models, without express written permission.

All stories published on this website are works of fiction. Characters are products of the author’s imagination and do not represent any individual, living or dead.

The realmgard.com Privacy Policy can be viewed here.

Realmgard is published by Emona Literary Services^TM